the one thing that (aside from being able to bring Bonnie my delightful cat ) that was bothering me was that I wouldn't be able to create things from nothing.
When I was in high school remember the excitement of forming a folk group, organizing a coffee house at RHS ,creating a fashion show to raise $ for the choir to go to new York. I just walked into a trendy boutique in Alexis Nihon and asked if I could borrow their clothes for a good cause.
When I explained why they thought I had a lot of guts so asked me to work there part time(I was 16 or 17 at the time) during one of the fashion shows I organized for them National film board asked me if I would do the same for them they wanted to do a documentary on models in the 60's . So I played the role of fashion coordinator and was the FC for that film. It was shown in theatres that summer.
When I moved to Owen Sound I created a choir of neighbourhood kids, then moved to NB where I created a choir of teens....then I moved back to OS and created amongst other things "Bread and Roses' coffee house to raise $ for the women's crisis centre, a few different groups all with Peter Little my musical buddy, including Kathy's kitchen .
Even when I was living in Nanaimo I had nobody to walk with so I created a group we met every day for almost 5 years.
I had been feeling at such a great loss thinking what the heck I'm too young to be doing nothing with my creative brain and I didn't want to lose my spark for life.
Well between what my daughters said and a friend Ruth said a light finally went off in my brain. Guess I had to hear it 3 different ways(my perfect excuse I have HD and it takes time to sink in) so Ruth said to not get rid of my craft supplies etc she said maybe I can teach a class in crafting or guitar or just sing and I will for sure start a Scrabble group there (there is none) well this is all assuming I'll be allowed to do this so hope it all works out for me then that creative part of my brain and that side of my spirit that needs to create all will be sparking along quite nicely.
Thanks again everyone for the support and friendship and love, as well as that group of women I connect with every day and they have listened to me moan about this disease at the start they've been wonderful too as well as my real life family and friends.
peace , love
Mum
Sunday 22 January 2012
Saturday 21 January 2012
things move quickly
in my little world --3 months ago I found out I have HD. Things just keep moving too quickly, one day I'm driving the next I'm looking at assisted living places or so it seems.
I'm supposed to be getting prepared to move into assisted living but I've changed my mind. I don't want to live where you can't have animals or have a bath. I don't want HD>>
Had a meltdown on my bd --cried and cried for ages I guess I'm allowed hadn;t done it yet since I was diagnosed. Both my daughters do their best to be supportive in different ways. And Keith thanks for bearing the brunt of my fed-up ness.
Is that not too much to ask of the universe when I am only 61?
Had to get groceries yesterday in the snow trust me walkers and snow don't get along hard to push when they're empty never mind full. I used to complain about walking and driving in slush it;'s even harder to push a walker.
Sometimes I'm ok about this and can accept it whatever 'it' is . I wish though my DRs had some sort of answer or treatment or could say 'this is how it will go' it;s all the question marks that I wish had answers.
All I know is that I will at some point deteriorate but I don't know if it's going to be next week or 10 years from now. I wanted to be an 85 year old woman, still singing and baking and driving and have a dog and now my world is shrinking.
Still putting on the eyeliner and lipstick and still laugh at myself when I'm not crying -oh and someone in the slush and snow yesterday I was trying to walk to a taxi and a fellow in a white van yelled at the taxi driver for stopping where he did for me. I was so fed up and mad at people who don't have patience or honk at me so I banged on the side of his van and yelled 'kiss my ass,;'
Maybe I need to get that as a tattoo with 'kiss my ass; and just show that instead, on my wrist maybe.
I'm not sure how it would go over in the nursing home:)
At least I still have a sense of humour such as it is
Jenny told me I needed to blog but this blog sounds confused which is what I am I guess
kath
I'm supposed to be getting prepared to move into assisted living but I've changed my mind. I don't want to live where you can't have animals or have a bath. I don't want HD>>
Had a meltdown on my bd --cried and cried for ages I guess I'm allowed hadn;t done it yet since I was diagnosed. Both my daughters do their best to be supportive in different ways. And Keith thanks for bearing the brunt of my fed-up ness.
Is that not too much to ask of the universe when I am only 61?
Had to get groceries yesterday in the snow trust me walkers and snow don't get along hard to push when they're empty never mind full. I used to complain about walking and driving in slush it;'s even harder to push a walker.
Sometimes I'm ok about this and can accept it whatever 'it' is . I wish though my DRs had some sort of answer or treatment or could say 'this is how it will go' it;s all the question marks that I wish had answers.
All I know is that I will at some point deteriorate but I don't know if it's going to be next week or 10 years from now. I wanted to be an 85 year old woman, still singing and baking and driving and have a dog and now my world is shrinking.
Still putting on the eyeliner and lipstick and still laugh at myself when I'm not crying -oh and someone in the slush and snow yesterday I was trying to walk to a taxi and a fellow in a white van yelled at the taxi driver for stopping where he did for me. I was so fed up and mad at people who don't have patience or honk at me so I banged on the side of his van and yelled 'kiss my ass,;'
Maybe I need to get that as a tattoo with 'kiss my ass; and just show that instead, on my wrist maybe.
I'm not sure how it would go over in the nursing home:)
At least I still have a sense of humour such as it is
Jenny told me I needed to blog but this blog sounds confused which is what I am I guess
kath
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