in my little world --3 months ago I found out I have HD. Things just keep moving too quickly, one day I'm driving the next I'm looking at assisted living places or so it seems.
I'm supposed to be getting prepared to move into assisted living but I've changed my mind. I don't want to live where you can't have animals or have a bath. I don't want HD>>
Had a meltdown on my bd --cried and cried for ages I guess I'm allowed hadn;t done it yet since I was diagnosed. Both my daughters do their best to be supportive in different ways. And Keith thanks for bearing the brunt of my fed-up ness.
Is that not too much to ask of the universe when I am only 61?
Had to get groceries yesterday in the snow trust me walkers and snow don't get along hard to push when they're empty never mind full. I used to complain about walking and driving in slush it;'s even harder to push a walker.
Sometimes I'm ok about this and can accept it whatever 'it' is . I wish though my DRs had some sort of answer or treatment or could say 'this is how it will go' it;s all the question marks that I wish had answers.
All I know is that I will at some point deteriorate but I don't know if it's going to be next week or 10 years from now. I wanted to be an 85 year old woman, still singing and baking and driving and have a dog and now my world is shrinking.
Still putting on the eyeliner and lipstick and still laugh at myself when I'm not crying -oh and someone in the slush and snow yesterday I was trying to walk to a taxi and a fellow in a white van yelled at the taxi driver for stopping where he did for me. I was so fed up and mad at people who don't have patience or honk at me so I banged on the side of his van and yelled 'kiss my ass,;'
Maybe I need to get that as a tattoo with 'kiss my ass; and just show that instead, on my wrist maybe.
I'm not sure how it would go over in the nursing home:)
At least I still have a sense of humour such as it is
Jenny told me I needed to blog but this blog sounds confused which is what I am I guess
kath
your blog doesn't sound confused. I feel your pain and frustration. It may be a lame cliche, but sometimes life really isn't fair, BUT it SHOULD be. Even though we humans know there are no rules of fairness that doesn't mean that our higher senses of justice don't click in and rail against the universe. I still hold out a lot of hope for advances in medical research and I think that you will see new drugs/treatments become available for you within a few years. I wish there was more now. And of course I wish, like you do that this had not hit you. Coming to terms with anything like this is hard, unimaginable for most really; so do not fret that you melt down and are sad or angry some days. It's normal and you are actually dealing with it far better and far more positively than most would. Keep blogging and keep those who support you close to you (even those of who are too far away to just come over). Hoping you have a better day today.
ReplyDeleteBrave woman --stay the couse with the lipstick and eyeliner !!...also consider that being the "youngster" at the nursing home could have some advantages.
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